Thursday, August 20, 2009

Platonic?

When Harry Met Sally - It's the epitome of romantic comedies focusing on the concept of platonic relationships between women and men. I first watched the movie in some high school class (a part of me wants to say it was psych, while another part thinks it must have been an english-related class). I liked it, I bought it, I watch it from time to time. Usually if I'm channel-surfing and happen upon it I'll take 5-10 minutes to watch whichever part is on (especially if it's the scene where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in the middle of that diner, I've always wanted to do that). I've never been bothered by the idea of platonic relationships, until recently. Now I think about it all the time.

I don't even think people really know what platonic actually means. We all have a vague idea of the well-used adjective as it related to relationships between men and women that are not physical but purely "friendships". The American Heritage Dictionary defines platonic as:
  1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of Plato or his philosophy: Platonic dialogues; Platonic ontology.
  2. often platonic Transcending physical desire and tending toward the purely spiritual or ideal: platonic love.
  3. often platonic Speculative or theoretical.

I'd never thought to put it in quite that way. I guess I should have considered the whole "Plato Thing" but I'll be honest, it never even crossed my mind. I can't say that I actually consider any of my so-called platonic relationships "spiritual" or "ideal". I guess I see them more as guy-friends. What I mean to say is that while I have friends who are guys there are a select few (and they should know who they are) that I'm exponentially closer to. These are guys that I ask genuine advice from. The ones I tell my secrets to. They're the guys I hug on a regular basis. The guys I miss when we're apart. The ones I've slept next to knowing that I'm safe and loved in a much different way than when you're dating someone; maybe a much better way.

But the point of my musings is to wonder if these relationships are ever really platonic. There's always the potential that one person (or both people) is (are) feeling something more. Maybe these feelings are never shared, but that doesn't negate their existence. Once felt, the dynamics change. Words spoken, actions felt, and glances cast take on new meaning. A fine line separates platonic relationships from other relationships (friends with benefits, romantic relationships, mistakes...or not). I've walked this tight-rope at one time or another in most of my platonic relationships.

So based on the fragility of these relationships and the human propensity to make things much more complicated than they need be, can men and women ever truly be "just friends"?

Let's face the facts here: Harry and Sally end up together in the end, don't they?

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